The price of cars is too high. So, I would like to propose car reform.
We need the government to offer a car plan. Since they own GM and Chrysler, this should be no problem. But if you look at the price of cars, and what it is expected to do over the next few years, it’s not going to be enough that GM and Chrysler offer government car plans. No, “more” “needs to be done”. Indeed, because we need cars, and everyone has a right to one, this justifies and empowers government intervention.
So, I propose we set up a government car price board which would have the power to set prices on cars. Industry could petition the car board for permission to set prices at a certain level, and they would have to state their reasons. But then the car-care board would set the final prices.
Utopia would result where there would be a chicken in every pot, and a government car in every government produced garage.
Of course, there are a few nattering details yet to be worked out.
For example, the care-care board would want to set prices lower than the car companies. And they would have the power to set prices lower than profitability for the car companies. That would be perfectly ok.
See, when the car companies were forced to produced cars at a loss, we would simply threaten the car-care providers with prison sentences unless they produced cars. Due to their social obligation, they would only want to produce more and more cars, better and better cars. It would be hard to restrain all the utopia we’d unleash. When car companies lost money on every car, workers alone would get paid. Only employees would get a check – greedy owners who do nothing all day would get nothing. The employees would be assured of their check because it would come straight from the government!
As profitability soared, we could cut prices again. In fact, we could just continue to force the manufacturers to charge less and less so that car prices were low. And since quality and price were assured, along with profitability which would naturally follow, we would not have to imprison too many workers.
In achieving universal car coverage, one car at least for every American, so that Americans could have their right to a car fulfilled, some car providers would go out of business because they would not provide sufficiently to the state. In that case, their competitors would be rewarded with larger car provider contracts. Private car providers could peacefully coexist with the public car providers until, of course, failure to observe a selfless profit structure drove those private car providers out of business.
But the real cost savings in producing new government cars will come when we realize that old cars must be destroyed. The government car reconciliation commission will be sent out to impound old and worn out cars, in order to destroy them. People from whom these cars are seized will only be too willing to give up their old and capitalist car, so as to drive a new and achievement-oriented government car. As the old cars are pushed into the crusher, they will no longer be a burden to our society and new efficient cars can take their place. Even cars one and two years old should be destroyed so that every car on the road is at its peak of efficiency, and new car production will remain sky high!
Sometimes when I talk this way, I get so giddy, and the crowds around me chant stupid slogans. They fill themselves with the happiness that I have as well, that the utopia is here, it is just around the corner.
Hey wait! Why not do the same thing for health care!?
